#1: Honesty is refreshing and liberating
Refreshing – No one tells the truth. Everyone just tells you what you want to hear. Everyone is a “yes man”. Be different. Be a “truth man” and I guarantee the people around you will appreciate it.
Liberating – Honesty frees you from anxiety. You no longer have to remember a lie or suffer through activities you don’t enjoy because you lied. Fucking everyone hides their true feelings and does what is expected of them. Don’t be that person. Tell the truth. Do what you feel is right not what other’s expect and I guarantee you will worry less.
#2: Attract those with a like mind
If you are playing a character and not being yourself, you will attract people that behave like that character. You will not attract those who are truly like you. Once you shift to not apologizing for being yourself you will begin to attract those that are truly like yourself.
#3: Have more fun
When you don’t apologize for being yourself, you are doing less of the shit you don’t want to do and more of the shit you do want to do. Think about it: How many times have you been miserable at dinner or an event when all you had to do was say “I don’t want to do that?”
Real World Application
Easier to Implement
#1: Choosing not to drink alcohol
I barely ever drink alcohol. I tend to act like an ass when I get drunk and, honestly, alcohol is just empty calories that I would rather fill with food. However when I am out with a bunch of people who drink and they are constantly trying to get me to drink, saying no is very hard. The same applies when someone I am trying to impress like a new love interest or a boss offers me a drink. In either case, saying yes goes against who I am, but I still do it from time to time.
Take Action: The next time you are offered a drink and truly do not want it just say no and stand your ground.
#2: Choosing food at a restaurant
I have no idea why, but people tend to make comments about your food when you choose to eat healthy. I am 100% guilty of ordering something “unhealthy” just so I don’t have to hear people comment. This goes completely against who I am and should be an easy decision.
Take Action: Order whatever the hell you want. If someone makes a snide comment, send a fat joke their way and be happy with your choice.
#3: Picking a restaurant while out with people
I hate when the question of where to eat comes up when out with friends. The conversation almost always goes the same way: Everyone in the group responds with “I don’t care,” but I have a place in mind I would like to go. However, since everyone didn’t have an opinion I am afraid to voice my opinion, so I just say “I don’t care.”
Take Action: Throw your place out there. Regardless of if the group goes there, the group as a whole is better off because either A) the decision is made or B) a discussion is sparked. As a side note: If someone says no to your suggestion and they don’t present an alternative, tell them to shut the fuck up.
Harder to Implement
#1: Just say no
No explanation needed!
Take Action: When someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do, tell the truth and flat out say “No. I don’t want to.” Don’t come up with an excuse and don’t say yes just to make them happy.
#2: Give your honest opinion
About half the time telling the truth when someone asks my opinion is just too uncomfortable, so I will sugar coat the truth or tell them what they want to hear. I know this is wrong and I know it does the person a giant disservice, but I chose my comfort over what is best for them. I know being a “Yes Man” goes against everything I believe, but being a “Truth Man” is difficult.
Take Action: When someone asks your opinion on something simply tell the truth. Don’t sugar coat it. Don’t tell them what they want to hear. Don’t make it worse than it is. Just tell the truth no matter how uncomfortable. If they are the kind of person you want to be around, they will find it refreshing. Otherwise, they will become angry, probably leave, and you will be better off for it.
#3: Make decisions that follow your moral compass
I have the hardest time making decisions that go with my moral compass when it comes to business. Don’t get me wrong. I do not make business decisions that hurt or take advantage of people. However, I will put up with more crap than I should or let the client treat me like my time isn’t valuable in order to make a dollar. Most of the anxiety in my life could be alleviated by only making decisions that go along with my moral code and how I value myself.
Take Action: Start making decisions (especially business decisions) that follow your moral compass and what you believe in. Don’t just do something to make a buck or because so and so wants you to.
This post is about 90% self-serving. Over the past few years, I have implemented each one of these and subsequently fucked them up. Every time I have seen these benefits and every time I have failed. This post is my way of “vocalizing” the importance of these changes and kicking myself in the ass to make them permanent changes. Hopefully, it serves as a kick in your ass too.
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